using the world wide web to share news about my wonderful daughter, all the while brainstorming little acts of subversion

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

And furthermore,

I can't explain it, but Prejean really bothers me. I'll let Keith Olberman do the talking:

Carrie Prejean and why she bothers me

Fine, she believes in "traditional marriage." Whatever. My feelings about that should be obvious.

Please tell me, though, how she represents either Christian values or strong women by posing nude, semi-nude, or by getting breast implants???

Lesson learned from this: any time Donald Trump says some one is lovely, they won't get fired.

Mother's Day

We surprised our moms and drove up for the day. Also, the pictures of Katie's cards (out of order).









Taste of Addison





Is it over yet???

Yesterday was the worst day yet of being pregnant- I couldn't keep anything down until last night. My hopes are that it was the final hurrah of all this sickness nonsense, because it did not last much longer with Katie. So far, this morning, I've eaten a bowl of cereal- seriously, that's about quadruple of everything I had total (and then threw up) yesterday. I'm hoping it stays down because I have to get things done today, namely, a load of underwear- I'm just about out!

I can smell my neighbor's laundry dryer sheets this morning, too, and that's gross. But, so far, I feel much, much better today...fingers crossed it stays that way. And- apparently, my friend LaRae's water broke this morning. Here's hoping everything goes perfectly for the Duff family!

Friday, May 8, 2009

Heading into the second trimester

Thanks goodness, tomorrow is the first day of my second trimester- week 14. I have felt like total crap today, so I hope the next couple weeks brings an end to the nausea. Seriously, I'm so over it. I eat, and feel like crap. I don't eat because I feel sick when I do, and I feel like crap then. Some days have been better than others, but the past two have been awful.

Still a good sign, though. That's the bright side, I guess. I just can't wait to eat a meal in peace, especially since Mom, Katie and I are going to Santa Fe in a week- and I can't wait for all the food!

Here's looking forward to the Shed, the Pantry, and tons of other delicious restaurants in Santa Fe. No La Fonda since Katie's with us, but oh, I can't wait...

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Right up there with Valentine's day??

Some Valentine's Days are better than others and the magnitude of my expectations for the day has certainly changed over the years. My disenchantment with romance comes despite my sizable skepticism regarding the reality of romance. But now, Mother's Day is right up there as one of those days I set my expectations really, really, reeeeally low.

What you can call my "first" Mother's Day was great, if the gratification I got from my Mom and Eric's parents were all that mattered. From my hubby, however....not so much. I was quite pregnant with Katie at the time, we had both even bought flowers for our mothers, but that Sunday, I got up to cook my own breakfast before Eric even realized what he had completely, entirely forgotten about me: that I, too, was a mother. I'm not gonna lie: I was deeply upset. I walked out the kitchen door to sob because I just didn't want Eric to know how hurt I was that he had completely forgotten about me on Mother's Day.

Last year, Eric redeemed himself. It was rainy that day, but he cooked a delicious meal that we were going to eat al fresco. It was wonderful, plus I bought my kick ass coffee maker with the gift money Mom sent.

This year, I'm carrying that sense of forboding. Katie's day care requested a picture of she and I together for a holiday art project. I actually have very few pictures of the two of us together because I'm the one manning the camera most times.

This morning, as Eric and Katie were headed out the door, I commented that I guess I wasn't getting my mother's day gift from Katie's school because we had never brought a picture in. Yes, I'm bitter about this. Very bitter. And then, Eric first says that he's pretty sure they took a picture of Katie at school.

Okay, fine. But then he implies that I should print out a picture of myself to take to school. I hope it's evident why this ticks me off. I'm not going to help Katie construct the gift intended for me. That's should be his job...or am I crazy?

So, we're back to two years ago when he seems completely clueless. Maybe I expect too much, or maybe I'd just like my husband to take the time to do something as simple as print a picture out and take it to school. Really, that would be perfectly sweet and would totally make my day.

Maybe I'll be surprised Sunday. I'm not getting my hopes up.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Jenny McCarthy, please cut it out

I get that some people are cautious about what vaccines their kids take. I understand that some pick and choose their children's vaccinations. But I think people like Jenny McCarthy are inherently irresponsible re: the relationship between vaccines and autism. A few weeks ago, her boyfriend, Jim Carrey, posted on Huffington Post in support of what I guess is now his cause, too.

I saw her on some tv show for a few minutes (because I had to turn the channel- it was making me angry) this morning. I have to back actress Amanda Peet here who is a part of a campaign to counter the irresponsible campaigning of people like McCarthy. As Peet says, if you want to know physics, you go to a physicist. If you want to understand medicine, go to a doctor before making a judgment on vaccines and autism.

The problem with McCarthy is, her evidence is purely anecdotal. This morning, she and the (quack) pediatrician she's paired up with to, I don't know, "fight" autism cited the successes of the children in his clinic, McCarthy's son a chief success case among them. The pediatrician, when confronted with questions from the show's dubious host, said that no one that questions his claims has come to see what's going on in his clinic. I would say this: there are reasons long term, large-scale studies are used and evidence is painstakingly collected. Anecdotal evidence is not valid, nor is it reliable. And it seems that that's all McCarthy has.

There are NO studies to support her claim, and others like her, that vaccines are to blame for the increased instances of autism in children. There are, however, studies that refute this position. I am the first to say that science can be used for negative things, but in terms of the greater public health, vaccines have gone a long way towards eradicating once-deadly diseases and are crucial to the maintenance of the public well-being.

So Jenny, please cut it out, before too many people listen to you and believe what you say. Please be responsible.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

So it's not pinkeye after all

Turns out Katie has an infection in both ears, and all that goo welled over into her eyes. So, no conjunctivitis, but we still have to give her eye drops three times a day and an oral antibiotic. Based on our experience January 2008, I'm gearing up for lots of loose, dirty diapers from the antibiotic.

Seriously, you'd never know she had an ear infection. She's been sleeping perfectly through the night and her temperature went away Friday.

Her little eyes are puffy right now and getting all goopy again. I'll have to clean them off before nap time. Needless to say, I'm on nurse duty the next day or two, but I'm glad it's not bacterial conjunctivitis. That's some nasty stuff.

Monday, May 4, 2009

The pinkeye

Katie's home with the pinkeye. I'm about to dig out the eyebright and make an eyewash for her. We've got a doctor's appointment in the morning. I'm glad I got that chapter to my advisor last night, because she'll be home with me til Wednesday at least.

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Katie's first conversation

Katie has been speaking in phrases lately instead of one-word declarative statements. For instance, she'll say things like, "Go away!" complete with hand gestures. One evening, she went into the kitchen where Eric was and a few minutes later, Eric came out laughing. He said she had just chastised him, saying, "No! No! No!" and waving her pointing finger at him.

Today, not only did she walk up to us without the cookie we had just given her, she said, "Fruit bar. All gone." Her hands were up in the air- and I think she had fed that strawberry newton to Lucy.

Then, after pulling the shorts for her pink monkey one of over her shoulders like a purse, she walked into the living room and said, "Bye-bye guys."

I asked where she was going. She said, "Outside."

Hilarious.

Thursday, April 30, 2009

Speaking of the flu

I just came across this definition of pandemic on Dailykos (emphasis mine).

"Get used to the word pandemic. It's not a dirty word, or alarmist, or hype. It's a description of a novel virus that can spread human to human and causes disease. Right now, the disease seems relatively mild outside of Mexico, but all of the above effort is not based on where we are now, it's anticipating where we might be in two weeks or four. Or longer."

As people are trying to figure out whether to disregard concern about this illness, I thought this definition of pandemic puts in perspective why vigilance is necessary. I think the word "novel" most aptly describes this disease and why public health officials are most concerned.

All this comes, of course, after picking up Katie from day care yesterday and one of the teachers kissed her on the cheek (ACK!). This is not the time, I wanted to say. Eric and I are both concerned and he is supposed to tell someone at the center that teachers probably shouldn't be kissing students right now. Ugh.

One more thing, then I have to get to work:
I saw a comment yesterday re: the young child who died in Houston from the swine flu. Yes, the baby was a Mexican national. His parents crossed the border seeking medical attention. The comment (from someone we already knew to be a dipshit in college) said something to the effect of, "Of course the kid was illegal."

Um, no. You know what? Clearly, Said Dipshit has no kids, because you better believe Eric and I (and every other parent, I imagine) would do the exact same thing if our kid was sick. We'd cross the border in a heartbeat- and last I checked, it's not illegal to do so.

Ms. California

Ugh. That stupid woman is on Today right now- I want to hear about the flu, not what she's trying to "protect."

Friday, April 24, 2009

Texas vs. Iowa, part 2: Hedging for contingency

The first time I met my Texas OB, I noticed a substantive difference between her and the OB I had in Iowa. Don't get me wrong- I still think the world of Dr. Fick (the doctor in Iowa). I think these differences can be attributed to the setting in which they practice medicine, however: Dr. Fick was a clinical physician at a teaching hospital; Dr. Webster practices OB/GYN, and that's it.

This is what I mean: at one of my first meetings with Dr. Fick, when I was either four or five months along, I asked if there was a chance I could be induced. My reasoning was that I'd have little time to recuperate postpartum because my due date was so close to the beginning of the fall semester; I though I'd only have two weeks if Katie came on time. Dr. Fick, an OB specializing in maternal-fetal medicine (because of my history of cancer, I was placed with her and considered a high-risk pregnancy- freaked me out at first), answered that a lot can happen in five months and that she'd hate to deliver me early and have the baby spend a month on the ventilator. That was the end of that conversation, and we didn't talk about my delivery until my last two appointments. I had questions about epidurals and everything that she answered, but no birth plan (as recommended in the books I was reading- which was fine with me, really). It was truly an appointment-to-appointment experience.

On the other hand, at my first meeting with Dr. Webster here in Texas, she immediately brought up the subject of delivery and the choice between VBAC (vaginal birth after delivery) versus c-section. She even started looking at my scar and talking about where she'd most likely make the incision. Then, Wednesday at my second appointment, she said I was having a "perfect pregnancy."

So the differences might not be clear as I'm describing them, but they have been to me: Dr. Fick was always cautious, Dr. Webster seemingly optimistic and assuming a successful, healthy pregnancy. Again, I have no other complaints with Dr. Fick, but as I said, I attribute this to the fact that Dr. Fick is an academic, and responsible academics avoid speaking in absolutes. This is something I've had to work on personally in my own work and writing; I don't know that UI Hospitals share the postmodern vein that runs through the east side of the university campus- I doubt med students and residents at the UI have to read Richard Rorty, but to avoid absolutes (by saying things like "perfect pregnancy") is to acknowledge the contingency attached to lived experience.

Anything is still possible. I could still miscarry- anything could still happen with this pregnancy. I am nowhere nearly as nervous as I was about the first pregnancy and that may have to do with the ease with which I got pregnant this time. Maybe my body can do something right. I am, however, very nervous about when the baby is here- will I get enough fieldwork done before November? Will I be able to finish my writing in time to defend next summer, at the latest? How will Katie react? For that matter, how will Eric and I react with two kids, considering Katie has been a proverbial cakewalk?

So, to bring this mindless and worthless rambling to a close and get back to working on my first chapter, thinking about the reality of this baby instead of the pregnancy is another distinction between this pregnancy and the first. I look at this, though, as preparing my game face for when it's actually happening, as my way of intellectualizing the experience and working out the logistics- as preparing to be in a living hell and getting our asses kicked when baby #2 arrives. It may be sadistic, but this is my method of survival: it's how I approached breastfeeding, my comprehensive exams and any other challenge. In that case, it's probably the only similarity between Iowa and Texas.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Leave no bear behind! (Katie's latest cuteness)

A few quick, super cute things Katie's been doing lately before I head to bed:

She's started saying, "You're welcome." She's been saying, "Thank you" for awhile, and sometimes on her own- once she said thanks after we told her how beautiful she was. But now, she'll say it like this,"Thank you, you're welcome." Or, when we give her something, she'll say, "Welcome!"

One day, Eric was in the back of the apartment, Katie and I were in the living room and his phone started to ring. I yelled, "Eric! Your phone's ringing!" Katie joined in, saying, "Papa! Papa!" then, "Eric! Eric! Phone!" She called Eric by name again today when he was on the patio grilling dinner.

We took one of her bears with her to day care for nap time. Eric picks her up every day and evidently she makes sure to grab that bear before heading home. He said he got there one day and she said, "Bear!" immediately. She cannot leave without it.

Finally, she's been wrapping up her stuffed animals in anything she can turn into a blanket for months. Any dish towel, cloth diaper or actual blanket gets wrapped around her animals. But, last night, I noticed she was doing two more things: first, she's picking up her stuffed animal, rocking it (this isn't new- she's been singing Twinkle, Twinkle to her monkey for months), and then saying, "Shh, shh, shh, shh," just like we do when we're trying to get her to go to sleep. And then- the really funny thing- is she's groaning when she picks up her stuffed animal like we do because she's getting so big.

She notices everything and mimics us constantly. It's hilarious and the most adorable thing. When she wants something, she'll even tilt her head and nod "yes" like we do when we're talking to her. She's growing up so fast.

Texas vs. Iowa

Obviously, we became parents in Iowa, with pediatricians trained at Iowa. I've always heard from Cheryl that different places have different ways of doing medicine, and I'm beginning to notice a few differences between Iowa and Texas...and I don't like it.

First, I've heard from multiple friends here that their newborns get their temperature taken rectally. This NEVER happened in Iowa. This will NOT happen with the new baby. It causes too much discomfort for the infant and I don't know why anyone insists on taking temperatures that way- they can just do the math with the armpit or the ear.

Second, I'm a little uncomfortable with the way some doctors appear not to be distinguishing between healthy weight gain for formula and breastfed babies. They're different; they gain their weight back different...yet it seems like my friends here are coming back to the doctor's office for weight checks more than we ever had to in Iowa. After our one-week check-up, when Katie hadn't regained her birth weight, we came in at three weeks, which is usual. The doctors never seemed concerned about the rate she was gaining- in fact, they went by her demeanor and diaper output more than her weight (which, BTW, can be wrong because sometimes they don't weigh them right). I just think that ultimately, concentrating so much on weight gain so early discourages breastfeeding. I know failure to thrive can indicate serious health problems, but why was it no big deal in Iowa, yet it seems to be emphasized so much here?

Anyways, I'm wondering what other people's experiences are with pediatricians and a new baby. I might be overgeneralizing here, but I'm hearing the same story with different friends. Luckily, this won't be our first rodeo- we'll be more informed with this baby and know more what to expect.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Week 11 update and, the mechanization of parenthood?

I just got back from my OB appointment. Going to it, I was prepared to come back and complain- I'll get to that in a second.

However, I heard the baby's heartbeat for the first time today- what a beautiful sound. Since it's still pretty early, it took her a little bit, but, sure enough, Dr. Webster found it- nothing puts a smile on your face like the sound of your child. I wept the first couple times I heard Katie's heartbeat because I was such a basketcase with that pregnancy. So far, Dr. Webster says, it's a perfect pregnancy. I'm just happy to know this is ONE area my body doesn't flake out in.

AND THEN I found out I don't have to pay the co-payment every office visit to the OB. In Iowa- and this was the basis of my complaint- we didn't pay for any office visits, regardless if it was a specialist or not, because the insurance was that fabulous. The thought of paying $40 a month for every OB and every endocrinologist visit, both of whom I will be seeing monthly, annoyed the hell out of me. Evidently, this won't be happening at the OB- what a relief!

On an entirely different note: I saw something on TV this morning that has me scratching my head. On one of TLC's baby shows, the parents had some doodad that you held up to a crying baby and it then diagnosed what kind of cry the baby was crying...Seriously? It really becomes obvious what your kid needs after awhile when they cry. That's been our experience, anyways, and if the baby cries from hunger, then the baby's already too hungry anyways. But a machine to tell you what cry it is? Whatever.

Now, if they had this machine for toddlers, that'd be a different story...

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

It's 7:15 and we're all awake???

Katie started back to day care today, full-time. With my fellowship and a bit of our savings, we can send her to this place that's right at the Galleria where Eric works. It seemed like it would be expensive and hard to get in, but they had a spot and it's relatively affordable as far as day care goes...I wish that was enough to make me feel alright about it.

Sending Katie to day care this time is much different than it was last year. When we (and by we, I mean I) broke down during the fall semester after Katie was born and decided we MUST put her in day care, balancing full-time school with full-time parenting was killing us academically and personally. Our school schedules just did not relent enough-- I did not turn in one thing on time that semester. I still got the grades I've always gotten, but only because my professors were so understanding and lenient with deadlines. So, the first day we dropped Katie off at Open Arms in Iowa City, I was a little choked up, but I felt good about the place. I was able to work as I needed to, which in turn relieved my stress at home, and I eventually fell in love with her teacher. Then, when we sent her to the Sprout House...that place was wonderful. ALL day cares should be like the Sprout House.

Sending her to the Peanut Gallery today is much different that my day care experience in Iowa. We were under so much immediate pressure and day care relieved us of much of that- and substantial amounts of dollars, too. I've gotten so used to spending all day with Katie, there's no direct pressure to get my dissertation done, and I have a few reservations about the place we're sending her. My dissertation will NEVER get done at the pace I've been going, so sadly, this is absolutely necessary.

Let's just say, then, that it completely wrenched my heart out when, after getting her up early and getting her dressed without our normal snuggle and sippy cup of milk time this morning, I loaded her into the car and said, trying to be excited for her, "You're starting back to school today!" and she got really wide-eyed, really still- her bottom lip popped out...and she began to cry.

When we'd pull into the Sprout House parking lot back in Iowa City, Katie and I would both say, "School!" She'd do her little strut into the house after signing in and washing her hands and peek over the gate to the sweet and happy teachers and her Sprout friends. She was excited to be there and usually sad to go home and stop playing with all their great toys and playground equipment. If they were heading to the playground when we came to pick her up, we'd go run an errand or she'd get really upset to leave so soon. Hopefully it'll be quick, but none of us are back to that point yet.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

The track list for Katie's lullabies

We've played this CD for her every night at least for the past year. I love it and burn it for my friends for their children. Here's the track list:
Lullaby- Sia
Lullaby (Goodnight, my angel)- Billy Joel
Lullaby for Wyatt- Sheryl Crow
Golden slumbers- the Beatles
Across the universe- the Beatles
Something in the way she moves- James Taylor
Sweet baby James- James Taylor
Sunrise- Norah Jones
La Cienega just smiled- Ryan Adams
Grace- U2
Gotta have you- the Weepies
World spins madly on- the Weepies

Also in her CD player (my former stereo) are a CD I got from a friend at my baby shower, John Mayer, one other I can't remember the name of, and probably the coolest gift a student has ever given a teacher: my former student made a mix CD for Katie the semester I was pregnant. I almost wanted to change Katie's middle name to Tupelo- the student included Van Morrison's Tupelo Honey on the CD and other wonderful songs. So good...

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Bear with me here...

I just gotta write about this because my back and sides are aching so much right now.

I don't know if it's the nausea meds- although I didn't see this in the side effects- or I just haven't been drinking enough, or what, but I had the most horrendous pregnancy experience to date this afternoon. I'll take the ridiculous gas, the nausea, I'll take bleeding for six weeks postpartum, I'll take it all because constipation- at least of the magnitude this afternoon- is the worst thing EVER. I didn't have it with Katie, except for maybe a little at the end when I wasn't as hydrated. All I know is, Katie was as happy as can be and playing her little heart out around me in the bathroom for an hour (what? I couldn't let her play in the rest of the apartment unsupervised and out of my line of sight for that long).

So, what do I take from this? Benefiber will be my friend, I will drink plenty of fluids, and, because this pain is similar, though not the same, as the pain I felt the day after Katie was born and I pushed for three hours before the c-section, I don't think I'll attempt that VBAC. No, I think I'll just go under the knife...

Friday, April 3, 2009

Lots of good news from Iowa

Two bits of good news from my former residence:

First, and most important in the grander scheme of things, those of us who support marriage equality- and the end to oppression based on race, gender, class, sexuality, etc.- are thrilled that the Iowa Supreme Court ruled the ban against gay marriage in the state unconstitutional. Needless to say, the rather liberal contingent of Iowa students and alum that I am in contact with are so excited that Iowa came through with this...This path to equality for all is one more attribute of the hope we see embodied by the Obama administration, although this ruling cannot be directly attributed to his presidency. It can be seen, I would argue, as a larger indication of the direction this country may still yet go and its ripening potential for a true appreciation and respect for the rights and dignity of all people.

Second, I got a rockin' fellowship for next year. I'll get paid to write my dissertation- SWEET!!!

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Saying "When." Or is it "win?"

Last week, the OB offered nausea meds. I passed on it. I didn't have this option with Katie- last time, I met my OB at week 16 after the nausea had passed. I almost can't function between this and the fatigue, and I'm convinced the fatigue is largely from not sleeping well at night. So, if I can knock one of these things out, I can starting knocking out my dissertation. I hope...

What really sucks is, the smell of coffee is atrocious right now. Every time I open the cabinet with my coffee beans or my grinder, my stomach turns. Same goes for stepping in Starbucks.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Oh gosh

Watching the Green Mile. So good!

About breastfeeding, again

Another blog I check intermittently is mothertalkers, which is associated to the granddaddy (for me, at least) of them all, dailykos. A number of diaries on mothertalkers were responding to that Atlantic Monthly article that was the subject of the jezebel post that was the subject of my post...But anyways,here's a really good response on mothertalkers to that Atlantic Monthly piece.

Monday, March 30, 2009

Latest pictures





They're not the newest, but...

Connecting the dots

In case a certain someone decides to over and look from facebook, why Don Imus is NOT OKAY.

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

We're right on schedule

I had my first OB appointment today and came back with a swag bag full of vitamin samples and some "first trimester gift" that I haven't checked out yet. But, according to the sonogram (um, the "internal" sonogram), we're exactly where we thought: 7 weeks, four days. My expected due date: November 7-ish.

The OB is super nice and upbeat- a basset hound owner to boot. Unlike the clinic at the UI hospitals, this one's nice and quiet- I guess that's what happens at a private practice, though. Since I delivered by c-section with Katie, it'll be my choice more or less, although there are some risks trying to deliver vaginally this time. Truthfully, I'm leaning towards a c-section. My labor was long with Katie and I don't care to push for hours and then be in the worst pain of my life, only from pushing. We'll see, though. And apparently, I'll be delivering at a really good hospital, Presbyterian Plano, or Plano Presbyterian...one or the other.

About that sonogram: I'll get it scanned and posted. They were able to zoom in much closer than the Katie's first sonogram. We saw the heart beat, and Katie kept saying, "Heart? Heart?" She doesn't like the doctor's office too much, even if it's a visit for myself.

So, here's finger's crossed that things keep going smoothly. The nausea has definitely kicked it up a notch, the fatigue absolutely sucks, but that all points to a healthy pregnancy. I couldn't ask for more than that...okay, and a healthy baby end of October-ish, too.

Monday, March 23, 2009

I forgot how good this was

I was browsing blogs and found a link to the last 9 minutes of Six Feet Under.
This is what spawned my Sia kick last night.

Katie's brilliance

Katie is beginning to make connections that completely amaze us.

We sing Twinkle, twinkle little star "with" her to her monkey every night to before bed. The other day, she found this toy she hasn't played with in forever that plays twinkle, twinkle if you press it's tummy. I was on the phone when she found it, and to keep her happy, kept pressing the tummy so she could hear it. That wasn't enough, apparently; she got frustrated and started yelling, "winkle, winkle!" So I sang it to her, and she calmed down. Only later did I realize she had made the connection between the song we sing every night and nap time with the music on the toy.

Then, tonight, Eric was changing Katie's diaper in the other room. I was in the living room and that Visa commercial that plays the Moody Blues' song, "Tuesday Afternoon" to the images of all the fish and the aquarium came on. I heard Katie in the other room saying something, but Eric and I realized when they came back into the living room, that she had been saying, "Fish! Fish" (or, "ish! ish!" in her words) because she heard the commercial in the other room. We watch it during the day and she's always so excited to see all the fish...and she recognized what commercial was on by the music playing in the other room. Eric said she was almost frantic to get in the living room to see it.

On a sidenote, Katie's been fascinated by her belly button lately (FYI: it's an outie). She shows it off at the store, which has made for a few awkward moments when she pulls her dress up. But she wants to see our belly buttons, too, and today, she kept pointing at my belly button and then to my tummy below it, saying, "Baby." Hmm. ???

Saturday, March 21, 2009

How I'm feeling

There are stretches of the day when I am just so incredibly tired, and when I am ready for bed, I am ready for bed. It's like the times of the day that I've always been a little sleepy, right now, just knock me on my ass. Most nights, I haven't slept too well from achy sides or just tossing and turning, but thankfully, Katie doesn't wake up til 9 so I can at least stay in bed relaxing. I get really weepy at the slightest thing on tv- I saw a snippet of Band of Brothers today and was choked up the entire time. The nausea is still largely under control as long as I'm not too hungry. There have been a few moments, though, when I'm not sure I'm going to hang on to my cookies...

Beyond that, Dallas is making me a little stir crazy. I think it's a mixture of living in an apartment in Plano. We get out regularly, but this area is as old as me and rather unfulfilling. There's not much to relate to around here- no cool little bohemian-ish areas or soothing college campuses that I can get to easily. Mall walking has gotten really, really old.

When I'm in OKC/Norman, though, I do miss Eric. Maybe this edginess will subside if we find our own house (got a nice check in the mail today from the bank with our escrow funds...).

And, a bit of panic has started to set in, due to the warnings about how much work two small kids can be. I'm grateful, for sure, for the reality check, but the list of things that must be done before I can't leave Dallas for awhile is so substantial, I'm almost crippled by it. I just need to get organized and focused and just get it done...but that's always the hard part. I was talking to my master's advisor the other day about all this and as usual, she put my dissertation in perspective.

"Are you trying to make it perfect?" She asked, which made me realize, as much as I'd like my dissertation to be this beautiful work of art and beautifully conceptualized and designed, the old saying goes, a good dissertation is a done dissertation. Instead, my goal is now is that my project will be solid (so far, it is). I'll write it and focus on artfullness later. The flourishes, bells and whistles can come during tenure.

In the meantime, I need to get at least one, if not two conference papers out by the deadline, April 1. One's partly written, the other's an extended outline. The problem? I'm writing this paper outside of any class or professor feedback and that whole self-initiative thing is a muscle I haven't had to cultivate...yet. I'm not sure what I'm doing, or if the paper is organized in a way that makes sense...it's good practice for tenure when this will be the means to my livelhood.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Are you kidding me?!?!?!

Of course, a story questioning breastfeeding is written by a man. Ack!

(big breath in, big breath out)

Typical OU:

Books missing from Bizzell, although they're not checked out.

One teeny, tiny shelf in the library on feminist media studies.

Massive Ford Expeditions in the narrow Union parking garage unable to clear the corners- complete with "OU Mom" sticker in the back window.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

That other shoe may be dropping

The past two weeks have been relatively painless: passing nausea, no fatigue.

With Katie, the nausea didn't hit til week six...and that would be today. Wouldn't you know it, I'm not feeling so hot today. When I ate this morning, I felt better and I even got a nap since Mom's here. But when I woke up, I still felt exhausted and my lunch was not appetizing at all.

Like Steph and I said this morning, though, at least it means I'm pregnant. I can't complain about that whatsoever. Looks like my ovary is still a little superstar...so far. :)

Thursday, March 12, 2009

How timely! I'm writing a paper about WBC...

Probably the only time I've ever thought frat boys were cool.

About breastfeeding

Interesting post here on the issue.

My thoughts: one thing that gets me about the posts on jezebel re: breastfeeding are the comments about breastfeeding nazis. I nursed Katie and I think nursing mothers have this one in the bag when it comes to being made to feel uncomfortable about their choice in infant-feeding.

An example: no mother who feeds her child a bottle ever has to cover up. No parent who feeds their child for any period of time is ever made to feel as if they might in some way be sexually abusing their baby when they feed with a bottle. Bottle-feeding is never seen as erotic or inappropriate. Yet, a nursing mother has to go in hiding basically to feed her child.

I think, one, the bottle-feeding medical paradigm still so strongly permeates our culture that folks have a tough time accepting that nursing is actually the way things were intended between mother and child. Formula is a great medical intervention when a mother cannot nurse- and I accept that some women cannot nurse- but I would argue that people doubt the overwhelming benefits of breastmilk because it has been intrenched in us to doubt the worthiness anything a woman's body does. And yes, this pertains to value placed on pregnancy and childbearing in this country.

More to the point, maybe we remember reading about wet nurses back in English lit, but women of means did not nurse themselves up until very recently when it is now upper-class women who are most likely to nurse. Back in the day, women from the lower classes were paid to nurse rich people's children because breastfeeding was seen as primitive. This myth persists; as one former student said, one of his cousins told his sister when she said she was breastfeeding: "You're not a cat!"

When making the decision to breastfeed, I made sure to look at it as a challenge and something I had to figure out and work on. If it didn't work, if Katie didn't learn to latch on, I'd quit. But I had more than one meltdown worrying if she was getting enough to eat.

I think that's the thing: mothers want what's best for their kids and I think no mother ever decides not to nurse her kid because breastfeeding isn't healthy...or at least, I don't think they do. But I think the breast itself is just so fraught with sexual connotation in our culture, that it disguises the value- and really, the absolute joy- that breastfeeding can be if people just calm down and take it easy. (not to mention, IT'S FREE!).

On a sidenote, my biggest plug for nursing is that in that 8 eight weeks before Katie started to really respond to us with smiles and laughs, nursing her was the most gratifying thing about motherhood. If she was upset, she'd nuzzle my chest and nursing would calm her down instantly. But that was me, and I want to respect the choices of other mothers who do not nurse. I just wish those who don't even consider nursing would give it try.

...and I will nurse the next baby. There, the cat's out of the bag. We're expecting again (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Sorting through some things

I'm in a unique situation: one of my former mentors from my master's program (who is no longer at OU) put one of his master's students in contact with me for some feedback. She had been accepted in the PhD program at Iowa, and later I come to find out, the new doc program at OU.

At the conference this weekend, some of the profs and staff at OU were encouraging me to encourage this woman to go to OU. She's getting a good funding package (better than Iowa, for sure) and in many ways, I think Norman is the better community for her given that she doesn't do the night life thing that's such a strong suit of IC.

Here's what I realized though: like I already posted today, I absolutely love OU. I love the campus and walking through it. It's an amazing place for me and I have so many wonderful memories there. But perhaps I know too much about it, because although my heart is in Norman, intellectually, I'm at Iowa. I can't deny it.

I don't ever remember hearing about as many interdisciplinary interactions at OU as there were at Iowa. The scholarly environment just seemed so much more rigorous and tangible. I might just get really bored at the inanity of the social scientific-ness that I experienced at OU (I really think that shit is so lame and superficial, despite all the statistical acrobatics they accomplish). Not to mention, the profs at the j-school at OU all go by "Doctor So-and-so" by their doctoral students....that tells you just a little about the atmosphere. There was none of that formality at Iowa. As one of my professors said, doctorals students are looked at as junior colleagues, and if my department was a little dysfunctional, at least the dysfunction between the profs trickled down intact to us.

I have some space from Iowa to see the forest for the trees and to recognize the negativity of a few individuals that really, really weighted me down- for no good reason. Unfortunately, I did not have enough resources in the form of friends physically in the state of Iowa to rely on to help me rise above the fray. With that in mind, I think I can see better now that Iowa is giving me precisely what I came for: a fantastic education. Iowa, as a whole, did this, not just one department.

On the other hand, I don't think the j-school is the shining spot at OU. I think those folks are over in Gittinger and Kaufman Halls and that the geniuses in Gaylord just aren't allowed to shine on their own right. I think about how little I knew when I left OU. What I did know and what prepared me for Iowa were, no surprises, Iowa grads.

So, I will always be at peace when walking between Bizzell and Evans Hall, or looking at the library as we walk down the middle of the South Oval. But it's no surprise that my stomach turned when the current dean at OU got up to talk...it just wasn't right and it certainly wasn't the best.

Norman just does this to me

I love OU. I love this campus. It's one of my favorite places in the world. Our kids will know this place, even if they don't go here. I've instructed Eric to make sure Katie knows and understands sports so she's not a total dope at OU football games like me.

BUT: I'm in the Starbucks on campus corner right now. I'm pretty sure OU Men's basketball star Blake Griffin was in line in front of me when I got here. The kid has TWO blackberries. Is it normal for college students or student athletes specifically to have two blackberries?

OU has taught me to expect the worst re: university athletics. The AD here is a bona fide crook (just ask the folks at Mizzou), and it's like the athletic culture here just can't get it through their heads that the NCAA doesn't fuck around. The empire they've built has been on the backs of their ticketholders, those of us who love OU regardless, and those of us who forked over cash to get an education here. I see bent rules as a slap in the face for all of us who have supported this school and this program.

My suspicion? Two blackberries= one phone freed up for scouts to call. Isn't this illegal? And couldn't OU get into some serious trouble-- AGAIN-- if it's true? This reminds me of seeing Hollis Price cruise around town in an Audi Speedster a few years ago. WTF?

Friday, March 6, 2009

Cutest little pigtail you've ever seen (she's getting so big!)



Parental philosophies and avoiding white flight

One thing that gets me on edge immediately (Eric will tell you, many things do this, but that's not the point) is people who are oblivious to the fact that other people have different lives from them. The biggest example of this is folks who seem unaware, or at least unwilling to consider, that others aren't as well off as they are.

Call this my class-consciousness. It kinda brings me back to the days I waited tables and (mostly women) would calculate down to the penny how much each person owed on the tab. If you're friends, why squabble over pennies? More importantly, why make a big deal about money, when other people around you make much less than you do??

This is not to say Eric and I have ever wanted for anything; our parents, thankfully, have made sure of that and we literally would have nothing without them. I really need to emphasize that point. But I know the limits of our little budget and let's just say, there's no exotic trips to far-off lands any time soon. In fact, our vacations since 2005 have consisted of trips home to Oklahoma...and that's pretty much it.

My point here is to say, then, that I don't want Katie to grow up unaware and insensitive to the situation of others. Income differences are rather minor, really, but from an academic perspective, I guess this is me wanting to transfer my consciousness of my positionality to my daughter and any other children we have. It is just so vitally important to be aware of other people and our differences from each other in order to try and understand and to make the world better.

I hadn't really thought of any of this until some teacher friends who are having kids or going to have kids soon mentioned the school districts they live in. Given our nomadic lifestyle, Eric and I hadn't really thought about picking a home due to the schools. Now, we probably should because there is a chance we'll be in Dallas for awhile.

Here's my concern: if we lived in North Dallas/Plano and the surrounding areas, Katie would go to some fabulous schools...that are largely white and affluent. Yes, I have a problem with that. We'll never, ever, ever be as well-off as some folks in Plano, but I do not want Katie to be in that atmosphere and grow up thinking everyone is comfortable in their whiteness like her. But, if we land in Dallas ISD...well, that's another situation. And the plethora of private schools around here? Sorry, but I don't want my child going to any school that has no responsibility to state curriculum requirements (that are there for a reason).

I'm determined to resist the white flight. In our conversations about this, Eric and I have decided that it's our responsibility to augment her education and to be that much more involved in the event that she does end up in a weak school district. He was a teacher, he knows the ins and outs and how to make things work in a under-resourced environment and I'm pretty sure that Dallas isn't stocked full of shitty teachers. If my education and training have taught me anything, it's that the (education) system that, in this case, under-supports some while helping others that is the problem. And like any other system, we can work in and against it to make it better.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

one little thing

Going to a conference at OU this weekend. Considering I graduated from the college that is hosting this little gathering, you'd think they could spell my name right in the stupid program. I swear...

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Cooperative breeding?

It's not what you think- it's much cooler!

"The Markets" (scare quotes used deliberately)

You know what I hate about "the markets"? I hate that they're invoked as if it's not a group of people without an investment in something. WHO CARES (other than the lucky who have stock investments...which obviously, I am not well-off enough to have) if the stock markets react negatively to an announcement from President Obama. In my mind, that tells me he's correcting "the markets."

Free market theory, be damned. Seriously. "The Markets" do not comprise rational people or entities working in the best interest of everyone else- they work with their own self-interest in mind and they don't give a shit about what happens to non-shareholders. So enough about "the markets."

Sunday, March 1, 2009

An interesting case for marriage equality, regardless of sexuality

http://www.afterellen.com/blog/juliamiranda/annie-leibovitz-is-in-a-jam

I never put it together that Susan Sontag and Annie Leibovitz were partners, but what Leibovitz is going through is astounding. Yet, it's representative of what gay people endure in this country; in this case, it's happening to an amazing artist.

Tell me again how people cannot see the denial of marriage equality as legalized discrimination?

A related sidenote: some friends of ours have been more vocal than usual lately about their support of the whole "one man one woman" crap. Considering that we were all in band for a large part of our lives and, as a result, know so many people who are gay, I'm just a little dumbfounded that their hearts are still so hard. How does it feel to regard your "friend" as deviant? How do you sleep at night knowing that you tell someone they're your friend, and yet support discrimination against them? I just don't get it. And, of course, they're "Christian." Whatev.

Saturday, February 28, 2009

Quick update

Twelve things Katie is startlingly good at these days:
1. Throwing things.
2. Throwing things far.
3. Running.
4. Screaming at an ear-splittingly-high pitch.
5. Saying, "Meow."
6. Parroting the last words in our sentences.
7. Remembering things- where we put them, where things go, and where they're at.
8. Pulling off the old bait-and-switch. This usually involves asking us for milk and then running away when we go to get it.
9. Snapping things shut.
10. Getting her fingers caught when doing #9.
11. Feeding herself --> like when she shoveled the corn in her mouth at Babe's last weekend.
12. Singing songs! She sorta knows the words to "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star."

Surely Foucault would have something to say about this...

Turns out, the porn-lover award goes to....conservatives!!!
http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn16680-porn-in-the-usa-conservatives-are-biggest-consumers.html?DCMP=OTC-rss&nsref=online-news

And yeah, I think this is funny AND one more example of conservative hypocrisy.

We got a badass for president....seriously!



Obama's address on his proposed budget.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

The house is sold...

We no longer own property. This is good- we only had to pay to live in two places for one month. On the other hand, it means someone else gets to enjoy our great little house. That makes me a little sad.

I was in the shower this morning, with Katie cooped up in her pack'n'play in the other room, when our wonderful realtor called to tell me the closing went off smoothly and we no longer owned a home. He told me how happy and excited the new owners were about the house and I told him we should have said something in the disclosure form about the annoying neighbor (Jackie). Turns out, during our super-busy open house, Jackie came over (can I just say that I'm more than bitter about the fact that they saw us loading up the truck- her husband was clearing snow- and didn't even say goodbye, much less help out?) and made a point to say that she couldn't smell the pet smell in the basement. This, as our house was crawling with potential buyers. So I told Barry about the time she remarked about the pet smell in our house when we had been gone for three days in the hospital after Katie was born. That woman drove me up the wall...You know why we kept our dogs indoors? Because our stupid neighbors complained any timed they barked. Barry said he responded to her by saying he didn't know what she was talking about re: the pet smell. Yay, Barry!

But as our conversation moved to discussion of our proceeds check, sure enough, my phone just died. It definitely made the case for a landline. I eventually got to talk to Barry again- he really does amazing work- but, our house is sold. We definitely urge anyone to use him. We wish we could use him in Texas, and it turns out he can refer us to some of his contacts down here and get a referral fee. He deserves it, so we'll definitely be in touch.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Absolutely heartbreaking

This is something straight out of a British novel from the 18th century. Absolutely breaks my heart:
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/02/26/world/europe/26ivan.html?hp
I'm tearing up in Starbucks over this...

Friday, February 13, 2009

Katie's latest stats

We had an appointment with Katie's new pediatrician this morning for her 18 month well-baby check-up. She got one shot- which is good, because she won't have to get any at her two-year check-up this summer. But she's 32 inches tall and weighs 22 pounds. After talking to the doctor about how picky she is with eating, the doctor reassured us it's normal and that her weight is just fine. Her percentile rankings are just fine. Oh, and she still has a big head. But that's nothing new :)

On another note, it seems we've established really good sleeping habits because it's actually really fun putting her down to sleep. Even at nap time, I'll say it's nye-nye time, and she trots right into her room where we make sure both her weebwies (that is, her blankets) are in the crib as well as any of her stuffed animals. Right now, she's napping with I think four stuffed animals- two bears and both frogs (one's name is Tom, by the way). Bedtime goes the same way: Eric announces it's time to put Tom to bed and she trots right to her crib. Even if she doesn't fall asleep right away, we hear her in there talking and playing until she nods off. It's definitely one of those heartachingly cute moments.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Good luck!

UE Local 896 COGS, my union while a TA at Iowa, has their final day of contract negotiations. I wish them luck, because I remember from experience- this one's tough.

Get us a good contract- good luck, guys.

Monday, February 9, 2009

A double "Yay!"

Two little tidbits: Yay! for Tiger Woods. His second child was born. And, Yay! Helen Thomas was at the press conference tonight. She rocks!

Sunday, February 8, 2009

In other news...

My favorite bar/buffalo wing joint in the whole world is closed indefinitely. I heard through my friend Emily, and then through family, that it was closed due to structural something-or-others.

Besides my personal reasons for being sad it's closed (we ALWAYS went there- this place is my all-time favorite place to go in Norman), my heart goes out to the folks finding themselves suddenly unemployed.

Let's hope they get the building remediated (or whatever it's called) and everyone back to work, SOON.

In cased you missed it Saturday night...

Thursday, February 5, 2009

a moment for rhyme

don't know what I'm gonna do
now that everyone's having #2
...but me.

More window antics




You can still see her shiner a little from when she fell on her face last Friday.

Looking out her "no"

Said in a certain tone, "no" is Katie-speak for window. This is the window in her bedroom, and how she looks outside while in her crib. I tried to get a picture of her looking out when she woke up from her nap just now, but she started crying after I left her room. So, the window and parted curtain will have to do.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Narcissism, facebook, and talking shit

There's this crazy-addictive forward going around facebook called, "25 random things." I posted mine- like I said, it's crazy addictive. Anyways, everyone's posting one (you list 25 random things about yourself), and out of nowhere, a new not-friend (he's not a friend in the sense that I have never personally met him, but he is a friend of friends (some of whom may qualify as not-friends, too), and Eric knows him; he's even older than Eric), posted some shit when he posted his 25 random things. *wow- I just used parentheses in parentheses. That can't be right.

Here's my thoughts before I go to bed early (that being, before midnight): this whole 25 things is a practice in narcissism- I broadcast things I want you to know about me...it's all about me (or, you, I guess, whoever is filling it out and publishing it...like I did). So I figure there's some repressed need, or that a psychoanalyst would have something interesting to say about what it is exactly that we post on these 25 random things- what do we identify that we want people to know? And what do those 25 things tell us about that person? And I should really turn this into a paper, now that I think about it...

So, this person, a certain Mr. Eric Dionne Baker, and I had a cyber run-in pre-President Obama about reproductive rights. Perhaps anyone reading this might remember these exchanges. It was heated- to say the least. Our mutual friend (actual friend, not not-friend) mentioned my blog to Mr. Baker, who then posted responses. Fine.

But here's one excerpt from his 25 things:
"15. If I had the time, I would love to *really* connect with each of my facebook friends, I love the personal interactions we get to have and not just the cattle-call announcements!!"

Before that, however, he writes this:
"9. I enjoy debating pro-choice people, especially on their blogs. The problem with this hobby though is that when they run out of arguments, they usually cuss you out and walk away. And really, regardless of who delivers it, nobody likes to be cussed out, right?"

His point is, of course, that I ran out of arguments and turned instead to cussing him out and walking away. Consider this me, walking away:

First, reproductive rights is one of many important political issues- though it should not be the ONLY issue and furthermore, it should not be an issue at all. You should not have control over my body. Period.

Second, unlike the crazy fundamentalists out there, I do not believe that marriage between people of the same gender or the choices people make about their reproduction is any of my business. I do not think it is the end of the world, nor is it the sign of the end-times if two people commit themselves to each other in whatever way they see fit, regardless if they have identical peepees or not. These choices DO NOT affect me or my ability to conduct my life in any way. They do not hinder my ability to make a living, to raise my child- it doesn't even block traffic on the road. Nor do I find any pleasure in concocting legislation that discriminates against friends and people I care about.

With a music background, I imagine that Mr. Baker, too, knows a few gay folks, and probably a few that have had to make a choice re: whether or not to have a baby. I'm glad he can sleep at night knowing he condones prejudice against them or stripping any of their rights, or declaring their lives deviant and pathological.

However, if I find there is something else to talk about, if I've run out of insults to hurl at the anti-intellectual crazies out there, forgive me for having something else to do. Sadly, the hurt that this narrow-minded belief system inflicts upon the world spreads beyond these two issues that should not be issues at all- yet, they are issues- and direct my work and concentration elsewhere. I've said what needs to be said. If it needs to be said some other way by some one else, I have a few links on the side over there that might enlighten you further- if not repetitively- about my view point.

But, don't go pushing buttons if you don't want a response. Don't be an ass and expect a pat on the back. In other words, don't fucking patronize me and expect me to giggle and capitulate. Because you don't know me, and clearly, you don't get my point.

I think that is the point, though. Back to the psychoanalysis: apparently, Mr. Baker's a stand-up guy. I've never actually met him and must take people's word for it. But, I ask, what does he want- what does it mean- that he pushed this button again? Am I the only pro-choice person he knows? Am I that significant that he's gotta talk shit again, when this is so in the past, it's that much more annoying to be reminded the exchange happened? That of all the random things he could post, this is the shit that caught his attention?

So, without being too provocative because there is certainly more I could say here, I ask the same question I asked my students, and that I encouraged them to ask of anything: what does this mean?

Monday, February 2, 2009

Something to think about re: the stimulus plan

http://www.talkingpointsmemo.com/archives/2009/02/adding_it_up.php

and

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2009/2/2/161121/9856/451/692120


I've been thinking the past few days that we hear lots and lots of Republican points of view on the proposed stimulus plan, and very, very little from the Democrats. I'd really like anyone to try and pull a "liberal media" these days. It was already a line of crap.

No, really. The media are not liberal. I'll find a link for that, too.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Lest we forget

http://www.thenation.com/doc/20090202/williams?rel=hp_columns

This is why we do it

And this is why I love President Obama:

http://www.dailykos.com/storyonly/2009/1/29/131620/134/34/690503

I still get emotional ANY time I hear or read about our president's inauguration or his speeches or his accomplishments. This story REALLY gets me. This is amazing stuff.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Let's see what I can do today

I'm at home with Katie- my full-time job these days- and, true to form, can get nothing academic done in the meantime. We had fallen into the routine where in the morning, Katie was extremely sensitive and clingy and I could not put her down and after her nap, she was perfectly fine to run around the apartment, freeing me up to...clean and start dinner. Thank goodness, she's in a fantastic mood this morning so I'll see how much I can write before she demands my attention.

I started writing a response to a message someone forwarded me the other day, and as I wrote, I just got worn out. The message was a forward one of Eric's former students received and knew would get me fired up- this woman kicks ass on her own, and her handling of the situation was great. But, essentially, the message she received was every wing-nut's laundry list of lies about our President, Barack Obama. Tristianne, if you check this, Eric and I thought of something: she stated that President Obama renounced his citizenship and moved to India. Well, assuming she meant Indonesia, does she even know that he moved there when he was two years-old? Tell me, how the hell does a two year-old renounce his citizenship???

Okay, onto the next thing. We're waiting to receive our driver's licenses in the mail. Getting them was an absolute fiasco. God bless him, but Eric put so much time and effort into figuring out what all was needed for us to be street-legal in the state of Texas. And it was a multi-step process. The cars had to be inspected ($40 a pop, every year) in order to be registered in order for us to get our licenses. And in order for us to get our driver's licenses, we had to have VERY specific forms of primary identification- our Iowa licenses would not do by themselves.

This is when I realized that, for a state which seems to embrace free market principles (i.e., the deregulation of utilities, for instance, so that we can "choose" our electric company...although the carrier is really only one company) and local rule so entrenched in Southern politics, they sure do know how to erect bureaucracies. And of course, the protocol to receive a driver's license was only recently implemented (in October, I believe) to- you guessed it!- hinder so-called "illegal aliens" from getting driver's licenses.

That's my dissertation topic, so I'll save that rant for my committee at school. But, you know how in Oklahoma, we can go to any tag agency and you're in and out in 15 minutes with a license? In Iowa, there was a government office you went to, but it was quick and painless and you walked with your license. Not so in Texas. First, they only have one office per county here (although I may be wrong on this and I guess there are some satellite locations). But upon arrival, you stand in line to have some lady look over your papers to make sure you have the right documentation for your business that day. Then you take a number, to wait, again, to go stand in a line, again, to be summoned to a counter to get asked a series of questions and an eye exam by workers who have no clue what they're doing (Eric can tell you more about this one), to pay another $24 per license, to wait up to 30 days to receive your license. So we have slips of "official" paper as stand-ins while we wait for the licenses to come in the mail.

But here's what really got me bothered: remember, they channel every license request in the county more or less through this one office, so teen-agers are getting their permits and licenses in the same place as those of us who are seasoned drivers. But this is one of the most diverse places I've ever lived and keeping in mind that the new requirements for getting a license are supposedly to deter "illegals," in that very first line you have to stand in, a state trooper- or maybe he's a trooper who's only job is to administer driving tests to 16 year-old- stands over everyone, in uniform and with his gun, asking them as they near the front of the line, "What's your business here today?"

I think this is intimidation, personally. After I had noticed what was going on, I had already copped an attitude. The office is filled with people who are not white, and although he was asking everybody their business and then looking over their papers (before some grumpy old lady did), I cannot see the necessity in this other than to freak some people out and make them nervous. Someone might say, if you aren't doing anything wrong, you have nothing to be nervous about, but that's simply not true. If you're not white in this country, you have no reason to believe you won't be targeted or singled out even if you're minding your own business. So it really, really bothered me that these tall men (is there a height requirement for state troopers???) were lurking about with their guns and peering over people's shoulders. If that's not the increased militarization characteristic of advanced capitalism, I don't know what is.

On an entirely different note: I didn't quite get away with writing this without Katie noticing I wasn't paying attention strictly to her. She climbed into her high chair (she does that these days) and so I gave her paper and crayons. I drew some shapes, and she could identify the heart, the star, the circle, the square and the triangle. How about that, eh?? She's a freakin' genius.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

House update

GOOD NEWS! Once our realtor's company email is back up and he gets documents to us, we will have a contract on our house! We received an amazing offer, one we couldn't refuse, per se. Our asking price: $92, 500. Their offer: $95, 500, with up to $3,000 back at closing. So a full-price offer. Sweet!

Keep your fingers crossed that all goes well and the buyer's funding doesn't fall through...

Props to our realtor- he's done an AMAZING job. I want to post the link to our house on the Skogman site, but since it's down, I'll do that later.

Update:
Here's the link to our adorable house:
http://www.skogman.com/details.asp?mls=2900028

Sunday, January 18, 2009

My beautiful Katie





poor internet connection, so just a few pictures.