It's 7:15 and we're all awake???

Katie started back to day care today, full-time. With my fellowship and a bit of our savings, we can send her to this place that's right at the Galleria where Eric works. It seemed like it would be expensive and hard to get in, but they had a spot and it's relatively affordable as far as day care goes...I wish that was enough to make me feel alright about it.

Sending Katie to day care this time is much different than it was last year. When we (and by we, I mean I) broke down during the fall semester after Katie was born and decided we MUST put her in day care, balancing full-time school with full-time parenting was killing us academically and personally. Our school schedules just did not relent enough-- I did not turn in one thing on time that semester. I still got the grades I've always gotten, but only because my professors were so understanding and lenient with deadlines. So, the first day we dropped Katie off at Open Arms in Iowa City, I was a little choked up, but I felt good about the place. I was able to work as I needed to, which in turn relieved my stress at home, and I eventually fell in love with her teacher. Then, when we sent her to the Sprout House...that place was wonderful. ALL day cares should be like the Sprout House.

Sending her to the Peanut Gallery today is much different that my day care experience in Iowa. We were under so much immediate pressure and day care relieved us of much of that- and substantial amounts of dollars, too. I've gotten so used to spending all day with Katie, there's no direct pressure to get my dissertation done, and I have a few reservations about the place we're sending her. My dissertation will NEVER get done at the pace I've been going, so sadly, this is absolutely necessary.

Let's just say, then, that it completely wrenched my heart out when, after getting her up early and getting her dressed without our normal snuggle and sippy cup of milk time this morning, I loaded her into the car and said, trying to be excited for her, "You're starting back to school today!" and she got really wide-eyed, really still- her bottom lip popped out...and she began to cry.

When we'd pull into the Sprout House parking lot back in Iowa City, Katie and I would both say, "School!" She'd do her little strut into the house after signing in and washing her hands and peek over the gate to the sweet and happy teachers and her Sprout friends. She was excited to be there and usually sad to go home and stop playing with all their great toys and playground equipment. If they were heading to the playground when we came to pick her up, we'd go run an errand or she'd get really upset to leave so soon. Hopefully it'll be quick, but none of us are back to that point yet.